Yes, I am a 40 year-old virgin. No, I’ve never been married. There’s some debate about whether I’ve actually ever REALLY dated…
No, I am not a lesbian. Perhaps I should start here with an initial point for you non-singles to remember: please do not challenge the single Christian women or men that you know with the implication that they must be gay. Would you have suggested that Jesus, a single male over the age of 30, was gay? Point made.
Why am I writing about this? There do seem to be a lot of single blogs out there already. Well, I really feel strongly that single Christian women in particular (being a woman myself) do not get the support they need from the Christian community. Yes, you non-singles do try in your own way, but you are not really supporting the single person. You are supporting our society’s ideal of marriage.
“Don’t worry, Mary! I have a friend who got married for the first time when she was 39. It’ll happen!”
Firstly, I’m already 40–oopps.
Secondly, who said that marriage is the ONLY happy ending?
In Philippians 4:12b, Paul says “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want”…whether single or married… What is the secret? “I can do all things through him who gives me strength!” Phil 4:13.
Singles and singles’ friends and Christian community: THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. Singles–your job is to be content in the situation that God has put you in. Community–your job is to help support your single friends’ contentment. NOT to try to distract them about stories about other people getting married–this is NOT supporting contentment. This is encouraging discontent. You wouldn’t encourage a swimmer by giving them a new pair of running shoes, would you?
“Contentment is a pearl of great price, and whoever procures it at the expense of ten thousand desires makes a wise and a happy purchase”
Also, it is important to help encourage each other in this narrow way that we walk. I have seen some beautiful Christian women get involved in some sad situations, I think partly due to lack of support, encouragement and advice from fellow single Christians.
Let us work together to encourage, uphold and share God’s blessings with all our single friends!