Single…and Content?

Yes, I am a 40 year-old virgin.  No, I’ve never been married.  There’s some debate about whether I’ve actually ever REALLY dated…

No, I am not a lesbian.  Perhaps I should start here with an initial point for you non-singles to remember:  please do not challenge the single Christian women or men that you know with the implication that they must be gay.  Would you have suggested that Jesus, a single male over the age of 30, was gay?  Point made.

Why am I writing about this?  There do seem to be a lot of single blogs out there already.  Well, I really feel strongly that single Christian women in particular (being a woman myself) do not get the support they need from the Christian community.  Yes, you non-singles do try in your own way, but you are not really supporting the single person.  You are supporting our society’s ideal of marriage.

“Don’t worry, Mary!  I have a friend who got married for the first time when she was 39.  It’ll happen!”

Firstly, I’m already 40–oopps.

Secondly, who said that marriage is the ONLY happy ending?

In Philippians 4:12b, Paul says “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want”…whether single or married…  What is the secret?  “I can do all things through him who gives me strength!”  Phil 4:13.

Singles and singles’ friends and Christian community:  THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.  Singles–your job is to be content in the situation that God has put you in.  Community–your job is to help support your single friends’ contentment.  NOT to try to distract them about stories about other people getting married–this is NOT supporting contentment.  This is encouraging discontent.  You wouldn’t encourage a swimmer by giving them a new pair of running shoes, would you?

“Contentment is a pearl of great price, and whoever procures it at the expense of ten thousand desires makes a wise and a happy purchase”

John Balguy

Also, it is important to help encourage each other in this narrow way that we walk.  I have seen some beautiful Christian women get involved in some sad situations, I think partly due to lack of support, encouragement and advice from fellow single Christians.

Let us work together to encourage, uphold and share God’s blessings with all our single friends!


3 thoughts on “Single…and Content?

  1. This is absolutely amazing! I love what you had to say and how you had to say it. I am not a single Christian but do know some that are, late into their lives, and they seem content to follow God. I would like to encourage you to keep on writing on this issue as I think it is a confusing one for some in the church and should be addressed more. I think it makes some people feel insecure when they see a single Christian woman knowing who she is about and where she is going…even just in our society (let alone in the church). You mentioned not feeling like the church was able to give you the support you need as it is now…I would like to ask, (if you don’t mind my wondering) what would make you feel more supported by the church? What types of change would you like to see (small or big)? And also, what would you most like to see from your married friends?

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