There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you [darn] well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.
P. J. O’Rourke
There once lived a girl named Abigail. She was a girl much like you or I, who lived in a place much like where we live. Abigail loved to hang out with her friends and do fun things together.
One day, Abigail’s best friend announced her engagement! Abigail was so excited for her friend. It was her dream to one day marry and have kids and play the happily ever after card, so she was excited for her friend. Abigail was the Maid of Honor at the beautiful wedding that seemed like a fairy tale to her. ‘I can barely wait my turn,’ she thought.
Not long after, her older sister announced her engagement. Again, Abigail was the Maid of Honor and the wedding sparked excited thoughts of what her wedding would be like.
Soon her neighbour was married, then her colleague at work, her friend at the gym, her mother’s best friend’s daughter…Abigail began to feel differently at each new wedding. Instead of excitement for the bride, she started to feel a sense of loss, a sense of disappointment. She was still hoping to be a member of the happily-ever-after club but it seemed to be taking so long!
She waited and waited and waited. She called out to God, ‘When is it my turn?’ All she heard was the sound of silence.
She met a young man. He was great but eventually he moved on. Then she met someone else who she thought was nice but then he moved on, too. She finally found herself in a relationship with a man that she was not really sure about. He seemed OK but for some reason she felt uneasy about him. Then, one wonderful day, he asked her to marry him! Finally! she thought. She said yes immediately before she could talk herself out of it…
* * * *
“Alice came to a fork in the road. ‘Which road do I take?’ she asked.
‘Where do you want to go?’ responded the Cheshire Cat.
‘I don’t know,’ Alice answered.
‘Then,’ said the Cat, ‘it doesn’t matter.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
This post is going to address a tricky issue. It is the issue that originally triggered my desire to start this blog: the issue of contentment and good enough vs best.
Abigail is actually a collection of about 4 or 5 Christian people that I know who have gotten married late in their lives. Please don’t get me wrong–I am not trying to condemn people who get married. I would offer my sincerest congratulations to those who have found the one God has created them for. My purpose is to caution and encourage those who are waiting for that special person from God.
In the story above Abigail was getting worried–it was taking so long for her to meet someone that she could marry. I think she got into trouble because she didn’t know where she wanted to go anymore, except that she wanted to be married. I’ve seen this in real life especially in some of the women that I’ve known. There seems to be 2 things present in this situation–a sense of urgency and a belief that good enough is OK.
The sense of urgency translates into a lack of trust in God’s plan in your life. I know we all have our plans for our lives (especially we Canadians!) and I know we want to feel a sense of control in our lives but remember God knows best and His timing is best, too. As Billy Graham has said, “You are where you are because God has placed you there.”
What do I mean about ‘good enough being OK’? Well, this is in contradistinction to ‘best’. What has God promised us?
If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! Matthew 7:11 NIV
God doesn’t want us to have ‘good enough’ but He wants to give us ‘best’. The Creator of the universe wants you and I to have the best. I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. John 10:10b KJV
Abundant life–not just a good enough life. Remember who you are in the eyes of God! He gave His own Son to die for us so that we might have what He has prepared for us!
But as it is written:
“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9 NKJV
I encourage you to wait for what is the best, what has come from God. If you take that which is good enough, you may well miss that which is best. As I mentioned above, I have seen some Christian singles whom I suspect may have settled for ‘good enough’ and who have, in certain cases, fallen into unhappiness, heartache, divorce and even violence. And, no, it is NOT my business to comment on whether you are settling for good enough. It’s really none of my business at all.
However, my heart aches for those beautiful Christian singles who have to live with the consequences of being ‘happy enough’ or their life being ‘good enough’. All I do want to do is to caution you to truly seek God’s direction when you are in these situations. Don’t be in a hurry; don’t settle for ‘good enough’–ask God for patience and contentment and for His direction. Seek Godly counsel. Talk to those around you–you are not alone. God loves you so much and only wants the best for your life that He may be glorified through you.
Please, friends, church and family of singles–help us to find God’s best for us!