What to do when…someone asks you who your “plus one” will be…

So, who will your “plus one” be for cousin Sally’s wedding?  This is a new phrase that seems to really have taken off lately, at least on TV.  I watched an entire episode of a new show based on this exact phrase.  I’m assuming it means the same thing as what we used to say, “Hey, who’re you bringing to cousin Sally’s wedding?”

Yuck!  I think I dislike this one the most.  It implies that there should be someone else coming with you.  That coming by yourself is distasteful in some way…

So, what do we do?

Evasive answer:  You’ll have to wait and see…

Family answer:  If my Uncle George is free he said he’d come with me. If Aunt Maggie doesn’t mind.

Panicky answer:  Ummm…I’m bringing…my boyfriend, actually.  His name is…ah…Steve Rogers.  He’s a…Captain…in the military.  He’s a bit older than me, but looks very young…he travels a lot…and likes masks…

Bold answer:  I’m not bringing anyone.  Why do you think I’m coming to your wedding?  All those single bachelors!

Sad answer:  Well, my friend’s husband said my friend could come with me.

Mary answer:  What?  It’s been years since anyone asked me that question!  Do I still have to answer it?

Literal answer:  God will be coming with me, of course!

Goodish answer:  I’m coming solo!  That’ll give me more time to hang out with the family/friends.

(Really–who would you subject to a family wedding anyway!)

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What to do when…Someone Asks You What Your Husband/Wife Thinks…

I find myself at times in amongst people who don’t know me well.  Of course, being the gregarious and often loquacious person that I am, I sometimes find myself in the position of having mentioned one of the crazy things that I’ve done in my life (for example, having traveled to India on my own).  The response by certain people is surprising, given this day and age, and yet seems to be the inevitable.

“What does your husband think of you galavanting around like that?”

(Really? What is this? The 1950’s?)

What does one say in response to this?

Bad girl response (tempting…):  I don’t care…I’d go anyway…

CIA response:  That’s on a need to know basis…and you don’t need to know!

Typical Mary answer:  Uhhhhh….right!  I mean, well…uhhhhhh….I’m not, like, married…no, I like boys, it’s just I haven’t…uhhh…found one that…well…How about those Canucks?

(Yes, I know–where is your loquaciousness now, Mary?)

Playing Ignorant:  Husband!  I have a husband?

Spy response:  I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you…

Vegas, baby!:  What is said in my house stays in my house.

Playful:  Husband?  Well, I don’t know.  I haven’t met him yet.

I am a big girl ( I’ve lived on my own for longer than I haven’t) so I think I can decide where to go and how to get there on my own (indignantly).  But, I guess we do have to be civil…

Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Philippians 4:5 (NIV)

Good answer:  Oh, I am very careful when I travel.  My family knows where I am and when I will be traveling. God called me to India and I know that He had me in His hand while I was there.  He is with me wherever I go.  Thank you for your concern!

What To Do When…Your Grandmother asks about your love life…

The question comes, without warning.

“So, Mary, how is your love life?”

This rather personal question comes from my beautiful, resilient 80 year-old grandmother, whom I love dearly, and who is obviously quite concerned about me.

I was much younger when she asked me this.  What does one reply given the circumstances?

Typical Mary answer:  Uhhhhh….great, Grandma!  I mean, well, not great,  uhhhhhh….I’m not, like, dating or anything…no, I like boys, it’s just I haven’t…uhhh…found one that…well…How are your tomato plants doing Grandma?

Smooth answer:  Who needs the love of a mere man when one is loved by you, Grandma?

Risque answer:  Hey, Grandma, why don’t you put on your party clothes and we’ll go out together looking for love (Grandmother is a widow…).

What actually happened:  (staring blankly at grandmother with mouth agape) Uhhhh….

People WILL ask us these questions so we had better be prepared (unlike me, with my Venus flytrap impression).

For a fan of the Royals:  But, Grandma, Prince William is already taken!

Nautical answer:  There are many fish in the sea, Grandma, and I can’t choose until I’ve met them all!

Optimist:  Nothing on that front yet, Grandma, but I’m a glass full kind of girl.

Kind/Desperate:  Any suggestions, Grandma?

Temporizing:  I’m in between boyfriends right now, Grandma.

Starstruck:  Well, Harrison Ford is a bit old for me, Gram.

“I’m single because I was born that way.”–Mae West

Yes, you can have a bit of fun with your friends and family and church family.  I actually think we SHOULD have a little fun (a little mischief is OK!).

The best answer:  Grandma, God loves me and is taking good care of me.  Don’t be afraid for me–He knows what He’s doing!

I think humour and honesty will go a long way in helping us through “awkward” moments.  In the end, as long as we truly trust God we should be able to field any “love life questions” that are thrown at us.

Thank-you, Grandma, for loving me, being concerned about me, supporting me in every situation and walking with me through this life.